Prime Reactions Review – X-Men: Apocalypse

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Maximum effort? I think not.

This is the first time I’ve talked about an X-People movie so I’ll go over the others real fast.

Honestly, I just watched almost all of these a year or two ago. I wasn’t too into the Fox Kids X-Men cartoon and as you may know, I don’t really read comics.

The first X-Men movie wasn’t… that good. It was at a time where superhero movies were gaining some traction especially after Spider-Man, but before they became somewhat respectable. Wasn’t anything to write home about, but it was a perfectly serviceable first outing. Good superhero movie villains are rare, but I liked Magneto a lot for his good motivations, character, and you could see where he was coming from.

I don’t remember United much, but I don’t remember not liking it.

The Last Stand I agreed with the consensus that it was a big mess and by now I was tired of Magneto.

I thought First Class was really good and was an interesting place to take the franchise after two crap movies. I like most of the actors, but I find it hard to believe that James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, and some of the others grow up into Patrick Stewart, Ian Mckellen, etc.

Then we get into Days of Future Past where it changed the game for me. The reset they did is something I haven’t seen done before and allowed for bold, new possibilities. The Magneto fatigue really set in because there is no reason they needed him. He just screwed everything up.

I was a little disappointed that Apocalypse was going to use the younger cast. Not because I don’t like them, but because after the reset I really wanted to see how that affected the present. With Jean alive, Rogue back, and I’m sure much more, there’s potential.

SPOILER-FREE REVIEW

So this movie was borderline not good. I’m certainly not angry at it. While I can pick at it quite a bit, it wasn’t as bad as Batman v Superman. Going in, I heard it was bad, but I figured the characters might get me through. This is one of those films I would label with “There’s a good movie in there somewhere.” The final product just wasn’t.

One problem with these X-Men movies is the amount of characters. Every X-Men movie introduces new characters. Whether they live, die, or even get any character is a roll of the dice. Unlike Marvel, solo X-Men character movies aren’t as financially “worth it” so they have to introduce multiple characters every time which works against the film. This isn’t like Civil War where if you’ve seen the other movies, shoving over ten characters in there doesn’t hurt it.

The villain… Every time he was on screen I wanted them to cut back to the heroes. He’s so bland, uninteresting, boring, generic, and unmemorable. His plan doesn’t make sense. His motivations are garbage. He’s apparently godlike in terms of power, but I don’t know the extent of his powers. Why he can’t just destroy everybody/thing I don’t understand.

The movie jumps all over the place. The bad guy has to “get the band together” four times, but we also have to check in with our heroes every other scene. And what’s Mystique up to? How’s Magneto doing? One problem is that Mystique and Magneto have to be IN EVERY X-MEN MOVIE. I don’t hate them or anything. I do like Magneto here and he kind of goes through an arc, but this movie had too much going on. It doesn’t flow properly.

The new characters and I’m not talking about young versions have almost nothing to do and barely get lines. We might see them in the future, but they could’ve easily been cut and nothing would be missed. The young versions of Scott and Jean were okay. Not much development which was disappointing. I could see people not liking them as there’s not enough to like. Nightcrawler was great and Quicksilver stole the show.

Ultimate Reflections:
I can’t really recommend this one. There’s some good stuff in here, but it’s bloated at almost 2 hours and 30 minutes. It’s not a movie I’d want to see again either. If you’ve been itching to see this, it’s not a horrible time at the movies. There just needed to be more focus, fewer things going on, and questioning what scenes truly mattered. If Civil War and another movie from Fox didn’t come out, this might’ve done better, but I’d still knock it for the same reasons. It’s better than The Last Stand, but that’s not saying much. I think I’m being more than fair giving this a 6 out of 10.

And don’t take your kids to this one. Some pretty graphic scenes that could’ve easily been done in less “frightening” ways.

REVIEW WITH FREE SPOILERS

The opening to this movie felt looooong and irrelevant. If you took it out and just used exposition to explain Apocalypse, it would’ve been just as effective. I don’t care that he was “betrayed” because it doesn’t factor into his nonexistent character. I just don’t know how necessary this scene was.

Jubilee was in so much promotional material that it’s such a shame she didn’t do anything. We don’t even see what her powers were. What a waste. She looked pretty accurate too. Too bad there’s no “The Jubilee Cut”.

Of course Quicksilver stole the show and because everybody loved the last time he did his thing, you get another one. Though this scene didn’t make sense. How did he know about the explosion or even get into the Cerebro hallway? I was pretty mad that he didn’t tell Magneto he was his son. I was expecting it because it ties into Magneto’s arc. Would’ve been nice for Magneto to realize that he had a son, someone worth connecting with and protecting like the family he just lost. Speaking of, it’s hard for me to believe one arrow took out his wife and daughter. I saw how much of it was sticking out of his kid. That the wife died instantly from that seemed highly unlikely.

Near the end, Quicksilver takes Mystique to Magneto and Nightcrawler looks for Professor X. I get Quicksilver wanting to get to Magneto, but logically, they should’ve swapped. If he wasn’t going to tell Magneto he was his son to turn him good, what’s the point? Even in a maze, Quicksilver would’ve found Professor X waaaaay faster than Nightcrawler. Plus he would’ve had an easier time fighting angel dude. Nightcrawler could’ve just teleported Mystique to Magneto.

I was a little offended at their jab at Return of the Jedi. The punchline of that conversation was appropriate, but what does it say about this movie when it’s the third one following First Class and Days of Future Past? Civil War even did a Star Wars reference better.

ALL of the Stryker stuff could’ve been taken out of the movie and nothing would’ve changed. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was all just to get a Wolverine cameo in there. The only relevant thing that happened here was Professor X contacting Jean which if he just did that shortly after the mansion exploded, the movie would’ve played out the same. It’d be different if we saw what happened after Mystique posed as Stryker in Days of Future Past, but that wasn’t addressed at all. Also, why did Stryker want Quicksilver other than to give him more screentime?

As for Mystique, I don’t know what she was up to early on. She saves Nightcrawler so I assumed she’s been running around saving mutants. Or I thought she saved Nightcrawler because he’s her son, but they never established that. Why? What is it with this movie and leaving sons without parents? Waiting for the next movie where this happens.

Mystique: Yo, Erik! Guess what? I have a son!
Magneto: No way! Me too!

and the two high-five each other.

I didn’t understand the bad guy’s plan at all. He wanted to “cleanse” the planet like Ultron? So, he launches nukes. Wait, he just sent them into space instead of just using them? No, I think he wanted to take Professor X’s body so he could be in the minds of the people he was about to kill? But hold on, he needed to get four cronies because he… needs protection? Protection from what? Doesn’t he have a vaguely established smorgasbord of godlike powers?

Besides introducing Storm and Psylocke, both of whom aren’t integral to the plot in any way and barely get lines or time for us to like them, this “four horsemen” nonsense could’ve been cut. Let’s hope Marvel Studios looks at this as how not to write Thanos.

I’d need to recall all of them, but I think this is the worst Stan Lee cameo. Usually, his cameos are funny and/or he gets something funny to say. Here, he’s just looking at launched nukes and not saying anything. It’s a pretty serious moment. Very out of place, guys.

Professor X restores Moira’s memories. I think she needed an aftermath scene with her talking to him. Otherwise, I ask again what was the point?

The post credit sequence was pretty pointless. I guess it’s for comic readers, but for someone who’s seen most of the movies, it went over my head.

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2 thoughts on “Prime Reactions Review – X-Men: Apocalypse

    • Thank you for reading and chiming in.

      Wouldn’t have been as panned if this was one of the first three X-Men movies. They need to start writing with beating Marvel Studios in mind unless they’re satisfied with… this.

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